officially almost a year behind...again

i have wrestled with this blog thing.  it's not my natural inclination to get things done right away.  i procrastinate, let it pile up and then take care of it....unless its laundry or dishes.  i have a clutter counter in the kitchen, a cluttered desk covered in bills and to-do lists but i just am not good at getting on my blog frequently and updating.  i know i've said it before, but my friend, Charlotte is amazing.  she always has her blog updated, almost immediately after events occur.  me....?  i have like 7, 351 pictures waiting in lieu of being edited and sorted.

i hate this because my parents and other family live far away.  i am sure they would appreciate updates that are not a year behind.  this has been one crazy year i just tackled and i'm sure the coming year is full of it's own craziness but i am hopeful that it wont be so crazy that i feel like i have to often reach up and make sure my head is still attached to me body.

shorty after moving into our new house we began demo...actually i began demo 2 days before we officially closed (shhhhh....yeah i took  a MAJOR risk)  but inside i knew this house needed to be ours.  it just did, we were supposed to live here.  we ripped out trim, outlets, lighting, tile....every room has gotten a face lift.  the kitchen is completely unrecognizable from the day we moved in and there are still a million small (and not-so-small) projects to be done but nothing NEEDS to be done...i can take my time.

a few months after moving in i was called into the bishop's office and before he even opened his mouth i knew he was going to extend me the call to be the young women's president.  i just knew.  that has been crazy busy, huge learning curve, fun...did i say crazy busy?  i have never had so much responsibility and so many meetings before!  i love my girls though and the women i work with.  i think i may just now be getting the hang of most of it.

in april we learned that we were unexpectedly expecting a baby.  after the initial shock (having had to try for up to a year before to get pregnant) we settled into the happy knowledge that our family would be growing by two more little feet.  i was overwhelmed, in the midst of remodeling hell, planning for girl's camp and just...life...adding in sickness, debilitating tiredness, and then at 10 weeks we miscarried.  it was devastating.  i had never realized what a physically and emotionally painful process this could be.  i am still affected by this loss, often thinking of how my belly would be swollen and i would be due in just a few short days to welcome our new little one.  i had been determined that the baby was a girl, and we had already named her Sadie.  the experience was horrible and i never blogged about it.

my sister-in-law lived with us during this time and thank goodness for her she watched the kids many hours while we painted, painted, painted and anytime we needed her.  she was with us for almost a year, and then my brother moved in.  it has been a great opportunity for all of us to grow our relationship and see him make changes in his life that brings him closer to us as a family and to God.

we've had two sisters get married this year, i've helped to throw three bridal showers and decorate for a wedding, 2 cousin weddings, brady got baptized, i have dealt with a lot of my own personal "demons" as i like to call them, figuring out who i need to be, who the Lord wants me to be, and emotional roller coasters- trying to live life with sometimes debilitating depression....

anyways...it has been a year of the refiner's fire.  i am exhausted...can you tell?  thank goodness for wonderful family and friends and a truly amazing husband who has never put me down, picked up my slack and been there through everything there was for me to "throw" at him.  we made it.  i made it.  {deep inhale and exhale} phew.

where am i going with all of this?  i'm getting this dang blog going.  i'm starting from today.  i'll get to all of the yesterdays when i can get to them.