Visitors from the East. Montana. Part II.

We drove Andrew and Alison to Montana and enjoyed a family reunion with mom's side of the family at my cousin Alden's house.  Chris, Brady and I got to go to Lewis & Clark Caverns with Josh, Andrew and Alison.  Brady loved it and thought it was so cool!

This is Brady just prior to setting out on the hike up to the cavern opening.

the view- 

Lewis & Clark canoed right through here on the Missouri River

inside the cave:

"cave popcorn"

and

"cave root beer"

the exit to the cave is a very long tunnel with a door on each end to keep the back draft out

This is the ONLY picture I have from the reunion.  Everyone entertained themselves by riding the mini dirt bike around and the lawn tractor!

Andrew and Alison went on a backpacking trip through the mountains outside of Bozeman and they took some great pictures!

                 

Visitors from the East. Idaho. Part I.

At the end of May my brother, Andrew and his wife Alison came to visit us for a few days from Maine.  My other brother, Bryce was also able to drive over from Oregon.  It was the first time in a year and a half that all three of us siblings were able to be together, since Andrew and Alison were married.  This was a great opportunity for us to get to know Auntie Alison better too!  

Princess Olivia had a lot of fun when Auntie Alison wanted to play dress-ups with her!

We spent an afternoon at the park for Memorial Day, flying kites, playing frisbee and bocce and chasing kids!  Uncle Bryce and Olivia flew her kite together!

Zach had just learned how to sit up on his own and he loved watching all the action around him!

For lunch, Andrew and Alison requested "authentic mexican" (as there is not really any good Mexican in Maine).  So the taco bus in Rexburg seemed to be a fitting place...

how many people can you fit inside of a taco bus???

       

The next day, my mom, who was out visiting in Montana, came down to be with her three kids!  We entertained ourselves at i-jump, a new trampoline facility in Idaho Falls.  It was a blast!

                

Some people got lost jumping into the foam pit!....

...while others needed a little assistance getting out!

Brady thought it was a ton of fun and tried to keep up with his uncles as best he could!

Even Zach enjoyed a little time in the foam!

Olivia worked on building towers and then she would slide down the trampoline and crash through them into the pit!

                   

after i-jump we had some lunch and headed over to the Riot Zone for a game of mini golf.  Andrew couldn't resist racing Josh, our cousin!!!  This is CLASSIC Andrew!!!

Later that night we all met up (Andrew, Alison, mom, Bryce, Josh, aunts Donna and Linda, cousins Ben and Rachel and their baby Audrey and our family) at Pizza Pie Cafe.  I failed to get a group picture- but we got a few silly pictures...(using the App on Chris' phone)

               Hannah                    Aunt Linda!

The last day we went bowling in the morning, ate some more Mexican and hung out at the house.  Chris and I were able to go to the temple with Andrew and Alison that night...oh and have a late-night run for, yup, more Mexican! (we took a pic of the 4 of us...but didn't come out with camera phones...)

                                       

Then we had to say bye to Uncle Bryce and headed up to Montana.  On the way we stopped at Mesa Falls to enjoys a short hike and the beautiful scenery.  This was Alison's first time to Idaho and Montana so we wanted her to see some places other than the Snake River plain!

inside the cabin at the falls...we explored and learned more about the animals and insects in that area.

                    

i thought that this tree stump was cool and i was able to take a moment and explain to the kids about how you can count the rings and see how a tree is.

Andrew gave my back a break for a bit from carrying Zach...plus I think he really wanted to "try out" the daddy thing!!!

baseball.

Brady enjoyed playing baseball this spring, with an added bonus of having four of his buddies on his team!

our friend Aaron coached our Golden Eagles ...

his boys, Porter and Ethan are buds with Brady. 

 they also happen to be our "upstairs neighbors" so life for them is pretty good with built-in friends!

Sunday Walk. Twin Bridges.

one of the first beautiful weekends of spring in May we ventured out to a nearby park on a branch of the Snake River.  the fresh air, gentle breeze, throwing stones into the water, exercise...

My personal quest.

So, I've known for some time (like my whole life) that I've needed to lose weight.  I've gone up and down, back and forth, especially since I have been bearing children!  It usually takes me a solid 2 1/2 years to lose enough weight just to get pregnant again (NOT to get back down to pre-pregnancy weight)...so, needless to say, three beautiful children later have each left me with added pounds.

I have watched several friends undergo dramatic weight-loss transformations and lifestyle changes and have been amazed and inspired, as well as overwhelmed and left feeling defeated.  It has always just felt. I.M.P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E.

Back during the winter months I did a post about weight loss and getting serious.  I ended up losing around 9 lbs. and then...well, went back to my old ways...gaining the 9 lbs. back and the low-confidence that got me where I am.

In the few months since then I have made a few self-discoveries.  YES. I am addicted to food.  I REALLY, REALLY like food.  Sometimes I eat something that doesn't even taste that incredible but keep eating it anyway.  Sometimes I eat something that DOES taste incredible and can't seem to put it down.  I just want "ONE MORE BITE."

I have tried to identify WHY am I eating?  WHY can't I let one or two bites be good enough?  WHY must I go back to the jar of chocolate chips repeatedly throughout the day, "sneaking" a handful into my mouth while no one is watching and then walk away feeling "better?"

Do I really use food to cope with stress, sadness, anger? To celebrate when I am happy or with success?  I never used to think that I used food for comfort, but maybe I do?  I certainly have no willpower when something I like is placed in front of me.  Usually I have less of a problem eating at home because I don't buy soda, sweets, chips etc.  I won't buy the foods that trigger me to return to them over and over again throughout the day. BUT when I am at a potluck or a party...or a buffet...FORGET IT.  Willpower out the window.  I can walk in with the best intentions and then let it fly, just like the calories I inhale.

I think I sit down at night with something "good" because it's like a personal reward of a day well done.  I have used it as a wind-down at the end of the day.  When the kids are in bed and things are quiet it's the time I give to myself.  I need to change that.  I need to give myself time to exercise and to reward myself in other ways than with food.

I think part of the reason why I feel angry a lot is because I am angry with myself.

BUT...

It seems that there is never time for ME.  I am mother, wife.  I fulfill all needs within our home.  Everyone else and everything else comes first. And I am exhausted.  How do I go to bed earlier at night so I can wake up before the sun rises, when all is still, to work my hind end off?  It seems that there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish all that needs to be done unless I stay up until the wee hours of the morning!!  The last time I worked out at 4:30 a.m. consistently for a month I made myself sick repeatedly for two months.

I have to figure it out.  I have to learn to let some things go...

So, I am on a journey.  A QUEST really, to figure out WHY and HOW and to BUILD THE POWER within myself to tell myself "NO!"  I want to live the Word of Wisdom (Doctrine and Covenants 89) and fill my body with good things...I want to FEEL and LOOK strong.  My goal is not to be thin, but to be strong and feel good. 

 I want to go on a trip to Hawaii (maybe in the works for our 10th anniversary) and take a million pictures and not have to delete any because I look awesome, not embarrassing!  I want to run down a beach in a bathing suit with my husband and feel completely free.

I had to write it down...get it out there.  I NEED accountability.  If anyone else wants to join me in this quest, to join me in recording your weekly BODY MAKE-OVER please leave a comment!!!  If you are serious about it and want weekly accountability and support, like I do, I will create a separate private blog.  I know it is possible and I need inspiration!!!

 I am putting it out there...my goal is to lose 65 lbs. total.  I think a healthy weight for my body type, height and age is 134 lbs.  Yup 134, not 135, 134...I don't know it just feels good, to be under 135!  What a dream that would be.  The last time I weighed that I think I was like a freshman in high school and thought I was fat!

Well, here are the stats.  Like I said, I am putting it out there.  I don't care anymore, no more hiding what it is...

May 2012: 196 lbs.  

June 2012: 192 lbs.

July 17th: 189

July 23: 188.8

August 3: 186.4 (down 9.6 lbs)

Considering posting my BEFORE pictures and pictures of progress...not sure if I am that brave...